When My Soul is a Jungle

I’m still reading this biography of William Carey and have found it to be a major encouragement to my soul.  This move to Savannah has been a roller coaster ride of emotions.  There was the initial high that comes from doing what one feels God has called one to do.  Then there was the slow descent into the realization that this may be harder than I thought.  There have been little moments of excitement but often they are followed by days or even weeks when nothing seems to be happening.

 

I have to say that my original vision has been obscured in recent weeks as the cares of starting a new life have become ever so present.  I have been tempted to “fall back” on more traditional means of finding ministry by sending out resumes and surfing ministry job sites.  But thankfully through the scriptures, the Holy Spirit, our pastor’s preaching and Carey’s biography I have felt a renewed commitment to the vision God gave us before we came here.

 

Early on in his ministry in Calcutta Carey says in his own words:

 

“My soul is a jungle when it ought to be a garden.  I can scarcely tell whether I have the grace of God or no.  How shall I help India, with so little godliness myself?”

 

It is such a comfort to see that a man who accomplished so much for Jesus during his lifetime struggled to that extent early on.  At the beginning of this new week I find my heart echoing Carey’s words:

 

“When I reflect on how God has stirred me up to the work, and wrought wonders to prepare my way, I can trust His promises and be at peace.”

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